92 Breaking Invisible Manifesting Chains: Liberating Women from Societal Norms92

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Hey there and welcome back to another episode of the Live Life Unapologetically podcast. I’m Shannon and today we’re diving into a powerful topic that affects many of us, and that’s societal programming and how it holds women back from fully stepping into their manifesting powers. Now this is one of those deep-rooted challenges that can influence every area of our lives without even realizing it. Last week, we talked about the struggle that women face, feeling selfish when they prioritize their desires. This week, we’re going to dig deeper into where that feeling comes from and how societal expectations have conditioned us to believe that our worth is tied to being selfless, always putting others first and shrinking ourselves to fit into predefined roles. You may wonder why that is important when it comes to manifesting. Well, how can you expect the universe to bring you limitless things into your life, your desires, in limitless ways, if you have yourself boxed in to something predefined that’s holding you back, that makes you small? You have to be big and step into your power and all of your might and your light for the universe to bring everything to you that you want, so that you don’t have a fence around you saying, well, I can’t have that because it doesn’t fit into this role that I’ve been assigned by society. So if you’ve ever felt like you’ve had to put your dreams on hold, or you have to dumb down your dreams, make your dreams smaller, you can’t reach for the stars because it doesn’t fit into what society says you should have or want, or that manifesting goes against those expectations that have been set for you. This episode is for you. We’re going to break down the limiting beliefs that show up in our everyday life and, more importantly, how to break free from them so that you can manifest unapologetically. So let’s talk about what I mean by societal programming, because you see, from the time that we’re young women little girls we’re taught directly and indirectly that our role is to nurture, support and take care of others. We’re praised for being selfless. We’re praised for putting people’s needs before our own, for being good girls who follow the rules.

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This conditioning can be subtle. It can show up in many areas of our life. It might be the expectation that you’re going to be the one to manage the household when you grow up, or the guilt you feel when you take care of yourself instead of your family. Maybe it’s the belief that your career success isn’t as important as your partner’s, or that your worth is tied to how much you give rather than how much you achieve. Maybe it’s the idea that you have to work 10 times as hard to be recognized for simple work that men do. I’ve been in those positions in a female-dominated field where women had to do 10 times more than a man to be respected as a man and still were seen as lesser than in the field.

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It’s crazy, but those are those subtle messages that become very glaring. They’re deeply ingrained in society and how we’re brought up different cultural factors. I’ve lived all over the United States. I was a military child and I can tell you that depending on where you live, geographically, cultures are very different and how things are approached. So it’s like regionally, culturally I’m not just talking about culturally from the standpoint of your heritage, but even regionally where you live. So all of these things are ingrained to us and that’s also why your manifesting journey may not look the same as somebody else’s, because we have these generalized societal rules and we have, like these regional cultural ones, all of these things that we’ve literally been programmed with our entire life.

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And since these messages are so deeply ingrained, they shape the way we think about our desires. They shape the way we think about what we actually want. So many times when I talk to women, they’re trying to manifest things that they think they should want Not what they really want, but what they’ve been taught they should want. It directly affects your worth and what you think is possible for you. These limitations because they’re truly limitations make it harder for you to prioritize your dreams Because on some level, you’ve been taught that doing that is wrong or selfish and we talked about this already on the last episode about feeling guilty, about manifesting for yourself.

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And all of these things create blocks to the manifesting process, more so for women than men. Yes, I said it, more so for women than men when we think about limiting beliefs and thinking about what we want to have as women in our society today, many times we are taught that once we have kids, we have to wait till they’re grown up, or that our worth comes from being a mother and having a family. And that gives you your worth, that nurturer, that person who gives and loves and taking care of others, and that makes you who you are. So it blocks this manifestation process of trying to receive things, because we are innately taught to give things. But for men in our society it is not like that. That is not something that’s ingrained. It’s ingrained to them that they can do whatever and have whatever and that people are going to be there to support them and care for them in their life, that they get the support system. They’re not the support system, they get the support system and therefore, when they go to manifest, they believe the universe is going to deliver, because women have been delivering for them anyway. They have this already in their mind, that, oh, you know, I have a great idea and my wife helps me get it off the ground, or I need something done and somebody comes and does it for me Our society.

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A lot of times we don’t talk about this in manifesting and maybe it seems polarizing because you want to think it’s just equal across the board, that we can manifest whatever we want, just as long as we believe it. And that is the basis. You see, manifestation isn’t gender-related, but limiting beliefs are. I really want to talk about gender-related limiting beliefs because we talk about basic limiting beliefs like oh, if you grew up poor, you may have limiting beliefs about money. If you grew up not feeling very loved, you may have limiting beliefs when it comes to relationships and your ability to be loved. But rarely do we talk about the fact that if I grow up a woman, my limiting beliefs are going to be different than if I grew up as a man. I think we just need to tackle that head on and not skirt around the issue period.

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Where does your worth come from? What, were you taught, is your worth? Because you are worthy and you have to know you’re worthy to receive from the universe. But what makes you worthy as a woman to receive Beauty looks? I know that’s what I was taught from the universe. But what makes you worthy as a woman to receive Beauty looks? I know that’s what I was taught. You have to be beautiful and skinny. That’s the only reason. That’s your worth. Your worth is based on how you look. That was part of it, that beauty before brains mentality. So how were you programmed as a woman? Oh, people don’t like a woman who speaks their mind. They wanted to be quiet and sit and be very meek. Don’t be loud. That’s a put off. What a turn off. Well, if you’re taught that stepping in your power and your light and letting your voice be heard is a turn off, then that’s how you’re going to relate to the universe instead of just showing up in the fullness of who you are, it’s going to block those manifestations. So how we’re programmed matters. And, yes, gender comes into play in that. So many things come into play.

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But let’s just go ahead as women and say, okay, what programs have created limiting beliefs in me as a woman? What I can do, can’t do, can have, can’t have, should want, don’t want. What are they so that I can move past that A limiting belief that I had for a long time? I got rid of this one quite early in my life. But for growing up in a part of my adulthood, my beginning adulthood was that the man has to make more money than the wife. Like that’s just how it has to be, because if a woman makes more than her husband, it’s going to cause problems in the relationship. So if I’m sitting here trying to manifest the money and stuff, I’m always going to limit my manifestation potential to make sure I’m not getting more than my husband.

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If I still hold on to that belief, do you see what I’m saying, where it comes from, when I’m talking about gender limiting beliefs? That was a big one for me. Oh, I can’t make more than my husband. Oh, that’ll make him feel bad. Like I said, I abandoned that belief a long time ago, but I did believe it for quite some time, to where, if I still believed that to this day, I would only manifest to the limit of however much money my husband made, like I wouldn’t go above that, even if and I know I do have the power and you have the power, we all have the power to manifest more than we can even think of if we let the universe do the work. But those are where the blocks come in, because the universe could say, no, you’re going to win the Powerball and be a billionaire, but in your mind you think you can’t have more money than your husband, so you’re really never going to win it. Because you’re like is your husband ever going to make a billion dollars on his own? And that’s how it hinders your manifestation.

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See, when you’ve been conditioned to believe that your role is to give, to give without receiving, it’s hard to believe you’re worthy of having more. That’s a big one for women, right? You have to give and you don’t give anything and expect anything in return. Or you should make less than your husband, or you have to work harder to get that far ahead, all of these things that we’re putting in. So now you have these limiting beliefs and you’re thinking well, I shouldn’t ask the universe for more. I need to be grateful for what I have. It’s selfish to focus on my dreams and they just keep you stuck in a place of lack. It feels like there’s not enough for you and it also feels like you’re not deserving of those things. You know.

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If you can say, if you are a man and none of that apply, would you be thinking differently? Is there a limitation there? I think with manifestation you always have to bring it back to just this like neutral place, where it’s not a belief that’s on men or women. But if they can have it, I can have it too. I always say that in manifestation If they can have it, I can have it too, and to me that brings it back to neutral. I always say that in manifestation, if they can have it, I can have it too, and to me that brings it back to neutral. I’m trying to manifest something like I talked about a couple weeks ago a new car and I see somebody driving down the highway in the car that I want. I say well, if they can have it, I can have it too. It brings it back to neutral. It takes that comparison out of it.

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But we put a lot of hindrance on ourselves because of societal expectations programming. You just believe what you were taught. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It doesn’t mean anything was wrong with the person who taught it to you. That was just their program. But what I’m asking you right now is are you ready to stop playing small? Because this societal programming and expectations can make you feel like you have to shrink yourself into a box that’s been created for you.

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Instead of dreaming big and you settle for what’s acceptable or safe, you can downplay your desires. You may be worried about how they’re going to be perceived, and this is a fear that women experience about stepping into their full potential. That holds us back from manifesting what we really want, if we’re going to be honest and we need to be honest so we can strip that off, so we can move forward and actually manifest our desires. Oh, shannon, why am I not manifesting this? Because there’s something within you that is saying no, no, I can’t. We have to teach ourselves.

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It’s safe to want what we want and it’s okay. I mean it takes away nothing from anyone else, and we talked about it last week how you being the fullness of you and having your desires met takes away nothing from anybody else. You deserve a life that lights you up. You deserve to manifest abundance and joy and love and success. It doesn’t make you selfish. It doesn’t make you selfish, it doesn’t make you greedy. It is empowering for you and your light then spreads through the world in a good way. But we’re taught so many times to make it small, especially as women. Don’t be a loud woman. Know your place, your desires and living in the fullness of your life and what you were put here and destined to do, to fulfill your passions and purpose and have a life that feels good Hard stop. So how do we break free from this societal programming? Because it’s in us. And these are the things when I say some limiting beliefs are very easy to overcome and replace with empowering beliefs and some take a little longer. If you’re in a place where it’s been so ingrained in you for so long, it’s going to take a little bit more time to reprogram that right. It’s like if you’re walking a path and you walk that path for a week. Yeah, you may see the trail a little bit in the ground, but it’s not going to be deep. But if you were walking that same path for 10 years, you really weren’t an out right?

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I was speaking with my son and his friend. We were just all kind of hanging out this weekend. We had family and food and you know it was the end of the night and they were just chilling. We were just talking and they were talking about girls. Okay, girls came up and we were talking about the difference between now and when I was growing up and body positivity, because they were saying that all the girls that are cheerleaders are all thin but so many of them have body issues. They’re like we don’t understand that, and so I had to tell them from my perspective, like now I feel like there’s more body positivity, that what’s seen as a beautiful, healthy body now that has thicker thighs and more curves is acceptable and it’s fine.

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When I was growing up, if you weren’t a stick Stan, it was a problem. Anything where you couldn’t see some sort of bone in your body, you know no curves, just stick straight. You were chunky. I watch TikTok sometimes and watch interviews of people on like the 90, early 2000s and how they would ask women about their weight and, oh, you gain weight and they don’t even look big. It’s insane to me, but that’s what I grew up in and I was telling them this is something that’s very hard because it was so ingrained in my upbringing and in society at that time that women had to be real thin or that they were overweight and unhealthy, undesirable. Nobody’s going to want that. I still struggle with this and have to catch myself with that sometimes, oh my gosh, you’re bigger than a size zero. What’s wrong with you? That was the mentality, society-wise and where I grew up, just everywhere, and it sticks with you. Those are the things that are ingrained into us that you’re worthy if you’re thin. Nobody listens to women who aren’t thin. That’s ridiculous to me now, but that’s how I grew up and I still have to catch myself.

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I went through a debilitating illness that made me skin and bones and I worked so hard to become healthy. I worked so hard to put on weight. I look at myself now and I think I still want to lose weight, even though I just went through and manifested health so I could gain weight. I had to look at myself and say I love you just where you are and looking at you now you’re healthy, you’re happy, you’re not sickly. But those are how society can impress upon you for so long, even into the age where I am now, that I still have to work on these limiting beliefs, that I’m worthy to show up on camera even though I’m not stick thin, that people are still going to listen to me even if I’m not stick thin. And I still struggle with that. But that was impressed upon me so much. I was a ballerina growing up and back then I weighed 98 pounds and they told me my legs were still too thick for a ballerina. They were muscular, but they were too thick.

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So those are things that do get into your programming, that you have to work past. So how do we do that? Let’s talk about how we reprogram this, because you may be saying, shannon, what does your weight or a woman’s weight have anything to do with manifestation? Well, if I don’t feel like I’m worthy to show up on video, how does my business continue to thrive Because of how I look, if I’m too scared to put myself out there and I say, oh, I’m going to wait. If I lose five pounds and then gain five pounds. The universe has to take away my success Like do you see how these things are interconnected? For women, it’s crazy.

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Okay, so let’s acknowledge the programming, and the first step is awareness, just being aware. Start paying attention to the beliefs that pop up when you think about manifesting your desires. When I thought about starting a business, I wanted to look a certain way on camera. Does that even matter? Does that matter? Ask yourself if you feel guilty about wanting stuff. Do you feel guilty for wanting to start an endeavor and you may outpace your husband and make more money than that person, your partner, whoever it is? Do you worry about how others will perceive that? Oh, she makes more than her husband. Do you worry about that perception? Acknowledge these thoughts and acknowledge also that they’re not your fault. They’re a result of programming that you received from society.

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Once you’re aware of the programming, then, and only then, can you begin to challenge it and you’re going to challenge those limiting beliefs. So step two is that, once you’ve identified it, you ask yourself is this really true? Is this belief serving me or is it holding me back? So, if you believe that you shouldn’t want more because it’s selfish, challenge that belief. If you believe that making more money than your husband is going to cause a problem, challenge that belief. No, making more than my husband is just going to make us all the more happier, because we’re going to have more of the things that we want together in this partnership.

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Ask yourself why you think it. Where did it come from? And you’re often going to find that it’s just an outdated societal expectation rather than your own truth. Like I said, I thought that way for a while. Now my husband he’s not going to care where the money comes from. He don’t care. He does not care. As a matter of fact, I’m sure he would love the fact and he has in the past loved the fact when I have my own money because I like to spend money. He’s a saver. He don’t like to spend money. Now, if I ask for something and I’m like, babe, buy me this, he’s going to buy it for me. He spoils me and I love it and we have this great relationship. But if I made a million dollars a year and he still made what he made and I spent all of that, as long as our bills are paid, he don’t care and he would love it more if it didn’t come out of his own bank account because he allow the universe to bring me more and it’s fine.

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You have to rewrite the narrative. And that’s number three, because once you challenge these limiting beliefs, you have to rewrite the story. You have to replace the old beliefs with empowering ones. So, instead of believing that my husband can make more than me because that would make him feel bad, I can say money flows to my whole family, to myself. It doesn’t make him less worthy. Does that make sense? My earning potential doesn’t take away from who he is. Period.

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Like I said, I rewrote that belief a long time ago in my life. But what I earn in my potential doesn’t take away from somebody else’s potential. It doesn’t make somebody else less than I know. I’m not going to limit myself. That was my new story. I am not going to limit myself. I am not going to hold myself back. What he makes, he can determine what he makes. I’m going to determine what I make and I rewired that thought. So now I don’t care. It’s really not a thing. Now it’s not. And we’ve been in places in our marriage where he’s made more than me, I’ve made more than him. I don’t care, I’m not going to let anybody stop me, not even my husband, from fulfilling my whole potential and letting the universe bring my desires to me. Period. It was my new story.

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So, whatever your story is, whatever societal belief you have, rewrite it to help you break free from the programming so that you can step into your manifestation power. When I think about how my body looks, I have to think people don’t care what I look like when I show up, as long as I’m helping them to manifest the life they love. What my body looks like is irrelevant. It’s not the body, it’s the message. So how are you rewriting the narrative? I see a lot, too, with women, and I’m just going to touch on this I touched on a little bit last week of having to wait till the time is right to go after their desires, because that’s a whole nother societal pressure that you have to wait till your kids are older.

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You have to put your dreams on hold. They need you right now. You have to focus on that or other responsibilities. If you don’t have kids, maybe you’re waiting for a better time, when life slows down or when you’ve saved more money. Whatever the thing may be and I really want to touch on the fact that we have been conditioned in society that there’s a perfect time and there’s a perfect timeline. But there is never going to be a perfect time. The timeline is different for everybody. Everybody’s life has its own challenges and if you keep waiting, you’ll find that later really never comes, because the truth is, you don’t have to wait till everything is perfect to start manifesting your desires. You can start now, where you are, even if it feels messy, even if it feels imperfect.

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Women who break free from societal expectations and start prioritizing their desires now, whether their kids are young or grown, their careers are busy or stable, whether they know what they want to do or don’t know what they want to do, they’re the ones that begin to see the biggest shifts in their life. They stop waiting for permission from society and they start giving themselves permission to dream big. Like I said when I was going through that your husband’s supposed to make more money than you thing and I decided, no, that’s crap. I stopped waiting for permission to say for somebody to tell me it’s okay. It’s okay, shannon, if you make more than your husband. I quit waiting for that and I said screw it, I am gonna make what I wanna make. I don’t care what anybody says. Give yourself permission. Here’s where the magic happens, because once you’re broken free from societal programming, you’re free to manifest without limitation. You’re no longer playing small, you’re no longer apologizing for your desires. You’re stepping into your full power as a manifester. And that’s when things really start to shift.

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Reprogramming your mind to embrace your desires unapologetically is a process, but it starts with giving yourself permission to want what you want unapologetically. You don’t have to follow societal rules, you don’t. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you have to follow the societal rules that you’re given when it comes to having the life that you want. You get to create your own life, and the more that you affirm you’re worthy, the more the universe is going to respond with opportunities, abundance and alignment.

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So your challenge for this week is to start noticing the way societal programming may be influencing your beliefs and actions. Identify those limiting beliefs, challenge them and rewrite them. Give yourself permission to want more, to dream bigger and to manifest unapologetically. If you’re really ready to deep dive into reprogramming your mind and breaking free from limiting beliefs, I invite you to join the Manifesting Made Simple Masterclass. It is all about helping you to manifest your desires with ease and confidence, without guilt, without overwhelm. You can find the link in the show notes or you can go to livelifeunapologeticallycom. Forward, slash manifest to grab it today. Remember you have the power to rewrite your story and manifest your desires unapologetically. Societal programming doesn’t define you.